First things first, congratulations to anyone who has recently married or is getting married. I wish you the best of luck.
Once you get married, a lot of things change real quick.
One area of change that takes some time to get used to is in your personal finances. Even if you decide not to combine financial accounts at first, your money needs to be handled a lot differently now.
After you tie the knot, big financial decisions start coming at you really fast. Should you open a combined checking account? What bank should you deposit your wedding gifts? How will you handle current debts? Plus, there are going to be plenty of things that you don’t even think of such as changing beneficiaries on your life insurance or adjusting the amount withheld from your paycheck.
I thought it would be helpful for any current or future newlyweds to have a checklist. An outline of what to do, things to change, and what to discuss after you have been married.
Let’s start with the exciting process of legally changing your name and what needs to be done after changing your name.
Step # 1 – Personal Documentation
If one person in the marriage is going to change their name, you first priority is to legally do so. (Your name doesn’t change automatically once you’re married) This is usually accomplished by visiting the County Clerks or Social Security Office where you were married.
After one of you has changed your name, you will need to update the following:
- Driver’s license and ID Card
- Passport
- Social Security Card
- Credit/Debit Card
- Bank & Investment Accounts
- Mortgages/Loans
- Titles to house and car
- HR Department (paycheck, health insurance and other benefits, 401K, business cards, etc…)
- Prescriptions
- Postal address
- Any services, subscriptions, or clubs
- Voter registration
Step # 2 – Getting Your System in Order
After you name has been changed, it’s time to get your financial system in place.
The first big decision you need to make is to decide if you’re going to combine or split your finances. There is no right or wrong answer, just choose a system that you think will work best.
Don’t be afraid to to test out both methods. If you’re going to be together till death do you part, time is on your side.
With your decision in place, you then need to start or update the following:
- Set financial goals together
- Start a monthly budget(s)
- Start tracking your combined net worth
- Delegate certain financial tasks (paying bills, tracking expenses, etc…)
- Adjust withholding from paychecks
- Set a time once a month to review your finances and goals
- Start a filing system for financial documents
One tip, don’t be afraid to talk about this stuff even before you get married. That way, once you’re married, you can spend less time decision making and more time doing.
Step # 3 – Insurance, Investments, and Wills
Getting married, is a great time review and adjust your current insurance coverage and investment plans.
- Change beneficiaries on investments and insurance (401K, life insurance, Roth IRA, bank accounts, etc…)
- Close any unused checking or savings account
- Apply for or adjust life insurance policy
- Look into purchasing a disability insurance policy
- Combine car insurance policies to get a multi-car discount
- Add wedding rings to insurance policy
- Compare health insurance plans to see if combining will provide better coverage
- Update or draft a wills
One last tip, always order one more copy of your marriage certificate then you think you will need. The last thing you want to do is find yourself going bank and forth from the clerks office, to get marriage certificates.
There is sure to be something that I missed. If you see anything or would like to add this checklist, let the readers know in the comments.
Thank you for this! I’m going to pretend the article was called “checklist for newly engaged”!
Step 1 – Yikes! Thank you for that reality check. Although I “knew” the name change doesn’t happen automatically, it was something that it helped to see in black and white. Lots of administrative adjustments are going to need to be made.
Step 2 – Personally, I think this should be planned out in the engagement period, but not executed until after.
Step 3 – Just thinking about all the administrative stuff is making me tired! J/K, it’s a great list and better to be informed of what is to come.
Thanks!
Kita
Thanks for this checklist, RJ! Tying the financial knot is kind of like the final frontier for most newlyweds. I’ve met some oldyweds who still don’t have their wills in place, much less updated!
I’m going to respectfully disagree with you on the point that it doesn’t matter whether you combine or keep your finances separate. Money magazine reports 84% of married couples say that money is the primary source of tension in their marriage. Money-related fights and problems is the number one cause of divorce. In combining finances and dealing with the issues produced, we’re compelled to communicate in a much deeper way about goals, dreams, hopes, and fears. This breeds intimacy and unity if done so with a heart for serving your spouse.
Sure, I’ve spoken with some married folks who keep their finances separate and don’t appear to have any problems. However, a couple of probing questions like, “how often do you talk about your financial goals?” and “do you feel unified and intimate with your spouse on money matters?” typically yields undesirable responses, in my experience.
Now, there are always exceptions to the rule – if there has been financial infidelity or abuse, there’s no sense in keeping things combined. But when establishing a new marriage, I think we have to go back to that commitment two people are making to each other to become one. Hard to say you experience the fullness of what marriage offers by keeping money – the biggest divider in marriages – separate. It’s kind of like saying, “I want to sleep with you, but sharing a checkbook kinds freaks me out.”
(In case you can’t tell, I’m a bit passionate about this point because I work with the young couples who are hanging by a thread due to a lack of financial unity.)
I talked about it at length on my podcast on the The Great Checking Account Debate.
@Lakita – Yep, would have probably been a better title. That was my intent. As for #2, I agree that you should try to talk about this before you move in. Which is a lot easier said then done if your waiting until your married to move in.
As for #3, I know. I kind of feel bad that my wife had to go through all of this. (:
@Derek – I share your passion with this issue because I think it’s the cause of many problems. I just don’t agree that sharing is for everyone. Personally, my wife and I combine everything. It works for us. Friends of ours split everything, it works for them.
I think the most important aspect is sharing a common vision of what money will bring to both of your lives.
if i ever get to marry, i would like me and my better half to do all this stuff before we get legal. This is because i am for the opinion that there are some important things in relationships that have to be handled and settled to avoid problems in future; things like finance and number of kids and the like. I would rather handle the things that you have stated here so that the disagreements be settled before we are in a position where we cannot do anything about it. Like for instance i would hate to find out that the wife has a mountain of debt that she has been hiding and have to divert a lot of cash to solving that pickle. I thing that transparency in finances is very important, particularly because i have seen when what happens when this problem is not solved to satisfaction
This may seem a little cold but…how about sharing credit reports. They don’t lie and it really let’s each party know if the other is walking their talk!!
@jay am not being cold, just as prosaic as facts allow me to be. I have seen how bad unsolved money issues become-affecting people who are not even involved and i don’t want something like this on my back.