For many of us living in America, we strive to live a full life and we search for something we call the “American Dream”. I was reading a post on another site today that made me think a little harder about just what we’re striving for – and what the “American Dream” is.

The definition of the “American Dream” seems to change depending upon who you ask, but usually it has something to do with becoming wealthy, having a huge house, fast cars and an attractive spouse. The problem is, what many people are striving for won’t make them happy, and won’t help them to find peace or contentment.

Where Can We Find True Wealth?

When we seek to find happiness and contentment in material things, as so many have done – we often end up having neither happiness or contentment.  We find that things are empty and leave a whole in our lives.  They bring their own problems along with them.

So what is true wealth?  We find out in 1st Timothy:

Yet true godliness with contentment is itself great wealth. After all, we brought nothing with us when we came into the world, and we can’t take anything with us when we leave it. So if we have enough food and clothing, let us be content. 1 Timothy 6:6-8

Far too often we place value on things that are meaningless, things that end up being nothing but dust. If we can find our peace and contentment in Him, we will have true wealth.

This article was written by Peter Anderson. Peter Anderson is a Christian, husband to his beautiful wife Maria, and father to his baby boy, Carter. He loves reading and writing about personal finance, and also loves a brisk game of tennis every now and again. You can find out more about him on the about page or check out his design site at http://www.logosforwebsites.com. You can also follow him on Twitter at @moneymatters.

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This past week I read several posts in the personal finance blogosphere that talked about how having more money can lead to living a happier life. While I do believe that having enough to keep ourselves out of poverty is a desirable thing, I don’t think having money or any material thing is what can lead us to living a truly happy life. Unfortunately I think that quite the opposite often holds true. Things can cloud our focus, and cause us to lose sight of the person who truly is THE SOURCE for all happiness.

I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do everything through Him who gives me strength. – Philippians 4:12-13

The world tells us that when we concentrate on things, money, success and on protecting all of those things at any cost – that we will be happy. Those things will give us fulfillment. The problem is, the world also tells us the lie that who we are and what we have is never enough.

God tells us that we need to put our focus on Him.

Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. Deuteronomy 6:5

In His word we are called to be good stewards of all that we have been entrusted with. As part of that we need to recognize God as the source for all good things – whether we are given much or if we have little, we are to thank Him for his provision. Through him we find contentment – and happiness.

But godliness with contentment is great gain. For we brought nothing into the world, and we can take nothing out of it. But if we have food and clothing, we will be content with that. People who want to get rich fall into temptation and a trap and into many foolish and harmful desires that plunge men into ruin and destruction. For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil. Some people, eager for money, have wandered from the faith and pierced themselves with many griefs. But you, man of God, flee from all this, and pursue righteousness, godliness, faith, love, endurance and gentleness.  – 1Timothy 6:6-11

We need to let the Lord manage our lives, instead of allowing our lives, and the things in them manage us and distract us from our Savior. We need to realize that true eternal happiness – not the fleeting and disappearing kind found in things – comes only through a relationship with Jesus Christ.

This article was written by Peter Anderson. Peter Anderson is a Christian, husband to his beautiful wife Maria, and father to his baby boy, Carter. He loves reading and writing about personal finance, and also loves a brisk game of tennis every now and again. You can find out more about him on the about page or check out his design site at http://www.logosforwebsites.com. You can also follow him on Twitter at @moneymatters.

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I remember like it was yesterday, my wife and I were deep in debt and creditors were calling us every day! Of course just like many “good people” that owed money and either didn’t have the means to pay or just plain didn’t want to pay…..I applied the strategy of not answering the phone! Disclosure- I belonged to the category that because of being laid off I did not have enough money to pay but I will admit that eventually I got to the point that I just did not want to pay! Until one day I finally got fed up and said to myself: “I’m not supposed to be living like a prisoner in my own home, this has got to stop!”

I was tired of running and being a prisoner in my own home. Every time the phone rang my stomach felt as if I was on the worlds most violent roller coaster. I was tired of feeling ashamed and defenseless and full of fear! Enough was enough! A life full of fear and bondage was not the life God had intended for me to live. So I got down on my knees and asked God for wisdom on how to deal with these creditors so that I can stop living a life of fear and regain my life.

If you need wisdom, ask our generous God, and he will give it to you. He will not rebuke you for asking.- James 1:5 NLT

Here’s the answer I got: “Deal with your Creditors like David dealt with Goliath”!

I learned that before I could start applying the Debt Snowball plan that I had heard so much about, I had to first learn how to talk with the creditors that held all this debt! But how could I possible talk with these people that seemed to hate me and really didn’t care anything about my situation, all they wanted was my money! They didn’t care that I had just been laid off and that I was fighting from week to week to feed my kids and to keep the lights on in my home!

So if I was going to “deal with my creditors like David dealt with Goliath” the first thing that I did was read about the account of how David defeated Goliath in I Samuel chapter 17. From this story and experience I learned five key principals which I will call “Stone 1-5″! By applying these principals to my life I no longer feared talking with my creditors, I now actually looked forward to speaking with them. Very soon my wife and I were paying off our debts and got control of our life and our phone lines again!

The 5 Stone Principals of dealing with your creditors like David dealt with Goliath:

He (David) picked up five smooth stones from a stream and put them into his shepherd’s bag. Then, armed only with his shepherd’s staff and sling, he (David) started across the valley to fight the Philistine (Goliath). I Samuel 17:40 NLT

Stone #1) Be proactive

One of the problem’s running from my creditors was that I became a very reactive person. Meaning that I was reacting to my circumstances instead of being proactive and shaping my circumstances. As it states above in I Samuel 17:40 NLT, “David started across the valley to fight Goliath.” As you can see David did not wait for Goliath to come to him, David took the first steps towards Goliath! That is what I started doing, instead of the creditors making my phone ring, I had to make their phones ring!

Being proactive actually gave me the advantage because I dictated when the call was made and I already had a plan for what I was going to talk to the creditors about that day! Here’s the funny thing, just like Goliath your creditors are used to people running away from them and being reactive and not proactive.

Stone #2) Understand what the reward is for winning this battle

There’s an old cliche that says “You must pick and chose your battles” in other words if your going into a fight you should always know what the reward for victory is. And even more important, is that reward going to be enough motivation for you to keep going no matter what it looks like? Even David did this before he decided to go up against Goliath:

“Have you seen the giant?” the men asked. “He comes out each day to defy Israel. The king has offered a huge reward to anyone who kills him. He will give that man one of his daughters for a wife, and the man’s entire family will be exempted from paying taxes!” ²⁶ David asked the soldiers standing nearby, “What will a man get for killing this Philistine and ending his defiance of Israel? – I Samuel 17:25-26 NLT

I had to ask myself what will the reward be for dealing with these creditors and will the reward be worth the fear and discomfort that I was going to have to face? I decided that the rewards were: Peace of mind, control, confidence, freedom & freed up monthly cash flow! It was definitely worth going into battle for! What are you fighting for? Is it worth it? The answer in this case is definitely, Yes!

3) Make positive confessions before calling

One thing that really helped me eliminate some of the fear of calling a creditor was to make positive confessions before making each call. This helped me get the butterflies out of my stomach. I confessed things like: “I have favor with this creditor”, “this creditor will honor that I am being proactive and will work with me”! Listen to how David spoke positively before he went out to fight Goliath:

Thy servant slew both the lion and the bear: and this uncircumcised Philistine (Goliath) shall be as one of them, seeing he hath defied the armies of the living God. – I Samuel 17:36

So before you make your call make positive confessions to help get the butterflies out of your stomach and build up your confidence for a positive outcome!

Stone # 4) You must document everything!

Ok, so you won’t necessarily find this stone in the story but I learned this lesson the hard way since many of the creditors seem to forget promises that they were making on their end, I had to start documenting everything! I purchased a separate notebook to log all of my calls in one place and here’s a quick run down on what I documented on each call:

1. Date & Time
2. Full name and extension of every person you spoke with
3. What did you talk about specifically that day
4. If an agreement was reached request that they send it to you in writing
5. Keep all documents in one file and store for future reference especially “Paid in full” statements!

Documentation is crucial as your dealing with your creditors.

Stone #5) Remember God has your back:

This is the most powerful out of all the stones! The one thing that I had to remember during this whole time that I was fighting to get out of debt and to work with my creditors was that God was in control and that he had my back. So no matter what the outcome of the call was going to be, I had already won! David told everyone who had his back before he set foot on the battlefield and right before he fought Goliath:

David said moreover, The LORD that delivered me out of the paw of the lion, and out of the paw of the bear, he will deliver me out of the hand of this Philistine. And Saul said unto David, Go, and the LORD be with thee.- I Samuel 17:37 KJV

And everyone assembled here will know that the Lord rescues his people, but not with sword and spear. This is the Lord’s battle, and he will give you to us!- I Samuel 17:47 NLT

So, stay encouraged we have the greater one living on the inside of us. If you just remember this one thing you will be off to a great start in dealing with your creditors like David dealt with Goliath!

How do you relate to my story? What “stone” would you add that helped you overcome the fear of dealing with your creditors?

This is a guest post by Carlos Frank. Carlos is extremely passionate about helping people gain control of their personal finances. In his personal life, Carlos had to overcome poverty, severe paycheck to paycheck living and layoffs from 3 jobs in corporate America! Carlos is the founder of www.GoodStewardKeys.com a faith based personal finance blog focused on helping people manage and increase the resources that God has entrusted them with! You can follow Carlos on Twitter @CarlosFrank.

This article was written by Guest Poster. We love guest contributors here at Bible Money Matters. Would you like to write for us as well? Please check out out our guest post submission guidelines and then contact us with your post idea!

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This article is by Fred at One Project Closer. Fred’s blog is home improvement focused, but he also enjoys personal finance from a Christian perspective.

I grew up with the benefit of Christian parents who made giving to God’s work a top priority. My mom regularly reminded my siblings and I that all the money on earth was God’s anyway, and that we are called to give him His tithes and our offerings as a way for us to participate in His ministry. To do otherwise—particularly with respect to tithing—would be to steal from Him.

Throughout high school and college I had a series of internships that paid between $8-15/hour. It was good money in my world. Still supported by my parents, the money gave me the ability to buy A/V equipment and video games, and take relatively extravagant trips with friends.

While I occasionally threw some money into the offering plate at church, I did it more out of compulsion and guilt than any kind of joy. My average contributions were probably 2-3% of my paychecks. As a result, I didn’t feel like I was meaningfully participating in God’s work. Instead, I felt like I was appeasing a God who might get angry with me for ‘stealing’ from him.

Perhaps He’d show mercy to me for my minimal effort?

In the most extreme example of my sin, I remember making a deal with God. I promised Him that when I came to church on Sunday, He could have whatever remained in my wallet after Friday and Saturday night. That promise ultimately resulted in heavy spending on Saturdays and extra care when I got ready for church on Sunday morning. I left any big bills on the dresser before heading out.

Pretty pathetic, eh?

Looking To Scripture For Guidance

As Paul says in II Corinthians 9:6-7:

Consider this: whoever sows sparingly will also reap sparingly, and whoever sows bountifully will also reap bountifully. Each must do as already determined, without sadness or compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver.

I was sowing sparingly… and reaping sparingly. I had little joy from the work that was accomplished with the funds I was giving. Why? I wasn’t giving what I was called to give.

I was giving out of compulsion. I wasn’t necessarily cheerful about it, and I wasn’t vested in God’s work.

As the end of college approached, I accepted a job offer with a large contracting company as a software engineer. God blessed me with a salary beyond my expectations, and I knew it was time to make a change.

The words Paul writes, “each must do as already determined” really strike me. The verse implies that we should pre-determine our giving. I think of it as giving according to a plan. All of my prior, rather sparse giving decisions had been spur of the moment, under compulsion. They were not in the least bit coordinated, planned or really determined at all.

I decided it was critical to make a change and to put together a plan. Here’s what I did and I think it can work for others in my situation:

1. I set up budgeting software. As paychecks came in, I consistently paid God first (by reserving tithe funds in the software, even before I wrote the check to my church).
2. I added all of my credit cards and bank accounts to the software so I could see a complete picture of my non-invested financial position. I downloaded credit card information about every 3-5 days. Sometimes I logged receipts even before I could sync up the credit cards online.
3. I started to live my financial life by the balance reported in the software, rather than the balance reported in my checking account. This was perhaps the biggest change… because there was often a 10-12 day delay between when I got paid and when checks cleared the bank. Also, it helped me to avoid overspending on credit cards, since I was constantly aware of how much I had swiped.

These three changes had a profound effect on my life. Not only did I get my financial ship in order, I was able to approach giving systematically.

The result of that systematic approach was a guilt-free giving experience. When the pastor gave a ‘money sermon’ on Sunday, I knew that I was giving what God had called me to give cheerfully. It was a number I had “already determined.”

Turbo Charging Our Giving

A few years later—about two years after I got married, my wife and I decided to change our giving plan again.

We had been setting God’s tithe aside out of each paycheck, but still had been giving offerings sparingly. Sometimes we’d carve out $100 for a missionary or to support a noble cause, but we weren’t regularly giving anything beyond our tithe.

So the next time I got a raise at work, we decided that the year’s raise would go entirely to a new offering/giving budget. We would set the money aside at every paycheck, but we’d give the money out only when needs arose in the church or community.

It’s been 5 years since we started this practice, and the results have been truly awesome. Each year we increase our tithe and offering budgets and are able to give more and more to God’s work! We take incredible joy in being able to say “yes” to so many requests because we’re setting the money aside early.

To keep us from being tempted to keep the money for ourselves, we make sure to give everything from our offering budget by the end of each calendar year. This has the unintentional side-effect of helping non-profit organizations get that extra boost they all want at the end of the year.

By giving our offerings systematically, we’ve had even more joy! Now, when missionaries or organizations contact us, the questions are three: Do we believe it what they’re doing? Do we have the money in our offering budget? Does God want us to support this cause?

Notably absent from this list are questions like: Can we afford it? Would we rather spend the money on ourselves?

Not needing to ask those questions makes our giving far more joyful and rewarding. I believe it’s the essence of what Paul had in mind in those verses from II Corinthians.

This article was written by Guest Poster. We love guest contributors here at Bible Money Matters. Would you like to write for us as well? Please check out out our guest post submission guidelines and then contact us with your post idea!

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It can be easy to get caught up in all the commercialism that comes along with Christmas these days,  and allow the focus of the day become more about us – instead of about Him (Jesus Christ).   For me, one thing that always gets me back into the celebratory mood is a reading of the Christmas story. Jesus life is the greatest story ever told, and when you think about how it all started with his birth in extremely humble surroundings, it’s even more amazing.

So without further ado… here it is. The original Christmas story.

The Birth of Jesus

In those days Caesar Augustus issued a decree that a census should be taken of the entire Roman world.

(This was the first census that took place while Quirinius was governor of Syria.) And everyone went to his own town to register.

So Joseph also went up from the town of Nazareth in Galilee to Judea, to Bethlehem the town of David, because he belonged to the house and line of David. He went there to register with Mary, who was pledged to be married to him and was expecting a child. While they were there, the time came for the baby to be born, and she gave birth to her firstborn, a son. She wrapped him in cloths and placed him in a manger, because there was no room for them in the inn.

The Shepherds and the Angels

And there were shepherds living out in the fields nearby, keeping watch over their flocks at night. An angel of the Lord appeared to them, and the glory of the Lord shone around them, and they were terrified. But the angel said to them, “Do not be afraid. I bring you good news of great joy that will be for all the people. Today in the town of David a Savior has been born to you; he is Christ[a] the Lord. This will be a sign to you: You will find a baby wrapped in cloths and lying in a manger.”

Suddenly a great company of the heavenly host appeared with the angel, praising God and saying,

“Glory to God in the highest,
and on earth peace to men on whom his favor rests.”

When the angels had left them and gone into heaven, the shepherds said to one another, “Let’s go to Bethlehem and see this thing that has happened, which the Lord has told us about.”

So they hurried off and found Mary and Joseph, and the baby, who was lying in the manger. When they had seen him, they spread the word concerning what had been told them about this child, and all who heard it were amazed at what the shepherds said to them. But Mary treasured up all these things and pondered them in her heart. The shepherds returned, glorifying and praising God for all the things they had heard and seen, which were just as they had been told.

Luke 2:1-20

God bless and have a Merry Christmas!

This article was written by Peter Anderson. Peter Anderson is a Christian, husband to his beautiful wife Maria, and father to his baby boy, Carter. He loves reading and writing about personal finance, and also loves a brisk game of tennis every now and again. You can find out more about him on the about page or check out his design site at http://www.logosforwebsites.com. You can also follow him on Twitter at @moneymatters.

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We typically do it instinctively – we think ‘more’ is always the solution.

If you are having money troubles, what should you do? Earn more money.

If you are feeling depressed, what should you do?  Spend more money.

If you want to retire happy, what should you do?  Save more money.

If a product is on sale, what should you do?  Buy more stuff.

Often there is nothing wrong with more, but an unhealthy life is driven by the motivation for more.  The problem is sometimes we sacrifice too much to get more.

The Danger Of Always Wanting More

More can be addictive.

Consider the drug addict who wants more.  An addict becomes so focused on her next fix that she does not even consider the consequences along with way.  Once she is satisfied does her desire for more drugs increase or decrease? In the long term, her desire for more increases on a daily basis.

The more you feed your hunger for more the bigger it grows.   Money is no exception.

The Advantages Of Less

In the book How Much is Enough?, Arthur Simon suggests the following advantages of having less:

Reduced stress, less rushing, fewer distractions, more time for friends and family, and a chance to refocus life on things that matter.

More and less often work in parallel with each other. For you to get more of something you will typically have less of something else.  How, for example, does one get more money?  Typically by spending more time.  The more time you exchange for money the less time you have for family, recreation, and other important aspects of life.

More money typically means less time.

More stuff typically means less money.

Consider the following poll – shared in Simon’s book:

A recent poll shows that despite overall trends in the opposite direction, from 1990-1996, almost 20 percent of adult Americans chose lifestyle changes that involved earning less; and those who did, 85 percent expressed satisfaction with the changes.

85% of people who chose less said that as a result they got more.

At times the road to more is paved with less.

By spending less money on Christmas and making a homemade Christmas gift, your gift is likely to be more appreciated.  By giving more one would think you would actually have less, but Jesus says we will have more.  This is the blessing of proportionate giving.

The Bible is filled with some of these similar ironies:

If you want to save your life you must lose it.  Whoever wants to be first must be last.  To enter eternal life you must become like children.

Eating More:

Some people love to eat – they always want more.  Those same people often later regret eating so much.  Financially, we can over-spend to a point that we regret more.  The food solution is to eat less.  Perhaps, our financial situation would be better if we pursued less sometimes instead of more.  We might even be less likely to feel guilty when we shop.

Time for Reflection:

As the New Year approaches many of us will be reflecting on our values, priorities, and goals.  This year as you set your goals watch the wording carefully.  Don’t start every sentence with the word more.  In the end you might be happier if you had some statements about wanting less of some things.  This process will be much easier if you know what your true net worth.

Just remember more is not always superior to less.

What things in life do you wish you had less of?  How do you control your hunger for more?

This article was written by Craig Ford. Craig is a fulltime missionary in Papua New Guinea who writes Money Help For Christians and Help Me Travel Cheap, a frugal family travel blog. He is the author of Money Wisdom From Proverbs, has a Masters of Divinity degree, and (most importantly) eats homemade pizza with his family every Friday night.

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This week we’ll be celebrating a big holiday here in the United States, Thanksgiving.  When President Abraham Lincoln declared the final Thursday in November as a national day of thanksgiving, it was designed as a day to reflect and thank God for the bountiful blessings we have received.  Unfortunately, it has become something a little different.  It has become a day to self indulge, a day off to sleep in, gorge ourselves on a thanksgiving meal and be thankful for our worldly possessions. Then we prepare ourselves to go out for a full day of shopping the following day on Black Friday to collect more “things” to be thankful for.

“If the only prayer you said in your whole life was, ‘thank you,’ that would suffice.” – Meister Eckhart

I’m not saying that enjoying the thanksgiving feast or going shopping the day after is wrong, however, I am saying that our focus on the holiday has become a bit warped.   It has become focused on being thankful for things and material blessings, and on making ourselves happy.

Change Your Focus From Inward to Outward

While we’re taking part in our Thanksgiving festivities this year, it would behoove us to remember the true meaning of the day, to change the focus from our inward needs to one of outward gratitude.  We need to be thankful to God for all he has done, and to praise him – even in the midst of hard time.  He has given us wonderful families and friends that love us, and a warm place to sleep at night.  Most of all He has blessed us with his love and saving Grace through his Son Jesus Christ.  What more could you ask?

Sing and make music in your heart to the Lord, always giving thanks to God the Father for everything, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ.  Ephesians 5:19-20

Now, our God, we give you thanks, and praise your glorious name. 1 Chronicles 29:13

I will give thanks to the LORD because of his righteousness and will sing praise to the name of the LORD Most High. Psalm 7:17

I will praise God’s name in song and glorify him with thanksgiving. Psalm 69:30

We give thanks to you, O God, we give thanks, for your Name is near; men tell of your wonderful deeds. Psalm 75:1

Give thanks to the God of heaven. His love endures forever. Psalm 136:26

Why Be Grateful?

This year let’s do our best to be grateful not only in the big things, but also to be grateful for the little things.  After all being thankful in all things can really help to change your worldview, and make you a happier person.

• Thankfulness reminds you of positive things in your life:  Sometimes we forget just how much we actually have. Being thankful makes us realize just how much we’ve got.
• Thankfulness helps to turn the bad into good: Received a pay cut recently?  Be thankful that you have a job in the first place.   Don’t have as much money for gifts this Christmas? Be thankful that you can still pay your bills!
• Thankfulness reminds us what is important:  Being thankful helps us to realize the things that are most important in our lives, like family, friends and God.
• Being grateful every day makes you a more positive person: If you make an effort every day to be thankful, you’ll become a more positive person because you’re constantly reminding yourself of the good in your life – and helping other people to feel your gratitude – making them happier!
• Being thankful improves relationships:  When you express gratitude to others, it has the nice side effect of improving the relationship because you are telling the other person how much you value their contribution in your life.  It will also improve your relationship with God when you are thankful, because we are made to be in relationship with Him,  to praise Him and be thankful to Him.

Ways To Be Grateful

Living a more thankful life can be done in a variety of ways.  Here’s a few that popped into my head.

• Be thankful in prayer:  When you pray, be sure to offer thanksgiving and praise to God first. It will often change how you pray for the rest of your “needs”.
• Tell someone how thankful you are:  Tell someone how thankful you are for the things that they have done for you. It’s a small and easy step, but often neglected.
• Show thanks by giving back to others:  You can show your gratitude by being more giving towards others.   Volunteer at a soup kitchen, donate your time or money or just do something small for a friend.
• Give thanks for even the hard times:  Sometimes we neglect to thank God for the hard times, even though they are an important part of shaping our character and building our faith. Thank God for the hard times.

What are a few things that you are thankful for this Thanksgiving?  In what ways can you show your thankfulness this to others this coming year?  Tell us your thoughts on thankfulness in the comments!

This article was written by Peter Anderson. Peter Anderson is a Christian, husband to his beautiful wife Maria, and father to his baby boy, Carter. He loves reading and writing about personal finance, and also loves a brisk game of tennis every now and again. You can find out more about him on the about page or check out his design site at http://www.logosforwebsites.com. You can also follow him on Twitter at @moneymatters.

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The pursuit of wealth is one of the greatest illusions of our time.  We think we will be wealthy when we come to a place in our lives when we can do whatever we want with money.  One might imagine this to be the freedom illustrated by the phrase “financial peace”.  Wealth, however, will never be attained if it is defined as getting everything you want, because when you get what you want, you will just want more.  While money can fulfill needs (and thus provide fulfillment) money can never buy happiness.  I believe a person will only be able to consider themselves wealthy when they are satisfied with what they have today.

The apostle Paul writes:

I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. (Philippians 4:12 NIV)

Observations about contentment:

1. Contentment is learned and thus contentment is process.  Are you becoming content?
2. When you are content, when circumstances change you do not.
3. Both the well fed and hungry are susceptible to a lack of contentment.

Here are some stats from the book Your Money and Your Brain by Jason Zweig

A survey of 800 people with a net worth of at least $500,000 found that 19% of them agreed with the statement, “Having enough money is a constant worry in my life.”  But among those who are worth at least $10 million, 33% felt that way.

I love the following quote from philosopher Arthur Schopenhauer

Wealth is “like seawater: the more you drink, the thirstier you become.”

As a result of these and similar surveys and my own personal experience, here is what I believe wealth is:

Wealth is a decision fostered by an attitude of self-control.  Wealth is experienced when a person has the ability to be content with God’s blessings.

If you are looking for an external measurement for wealth it will never come.

Wealth requires looking beyond the bank account.

The wealth we experience on this earth is about so much more than money.  If you are just trying to build wealth like crazy, you will never get enough.  If you are defining wealth in terms of acquisition of currency, it will be so hard to ever feel satisfied.  Each day take time look around and see your loved ones so you can be reminded of how blessed you are.

Wealth is the ability to choose to focus your life on the truly important things. Someone might make a lot more money in their life time, but in return be burdened by meetings, appointments, and obligations – this is not wealth.  Wealth is the flexibility to be involved in the things that really matter in life.

Though I might not have as much as others in the bank, I feel like the richest man in the world because I am surrounded by a family that loves me, and I’m involved in a ministry that helps people.

Post written by Craig Ford.

How have you learned to be content?  How do you define wealth?  What are some of your greatest treasures?

This article was written by Craig Ford. Craig is a fulltime missionary in Papua New Guinea who writes Money Help For Christians and Help Me Travel Cheap, a frugal family travel blog. He is the author of Money Wisdom From Proverbs, has a Masters of Divinity degree, and (most importantly) eats homemade pizza with his family every Friday night.

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Recently, I have been noticing an interesting relationship between what is necessary for physical fitness and for financial fitness.  This is not to say that everyone who is physically fit is also financially fit, but those who have overcome weight struggles have the proven skills necessary to manage their finances.  Also, those who manage their finances well have the qualities necessary for physical fitness.  Do you struggle with both fitness and finances?  Here is the good news - you only need to learn one set of skills that will apply to both disciplines.

Here are the qualities necessary for both physical fitness and financial fitness

1.  Motivation

I have a friend who will be on an upcoming season of The Biggest Loser.  He wrote on his Facebook wall,“the mental part of this is the hardest and your words are helping so much.”

The mental part?  I thought weight loss was about diet and exercise.  But, there is a mental battle necessary to motivate yourself into action.  Most people who are overweight know they should lose weight.  Most people in financial debt know they should get out of debt.  The problem often is the motivation is missing.  Something will eventually spark that passion.  The motivation might come in response to some external factor like a warning message from a doctor or a letter from a debt collector.  The motivation might also come from an internal factor where you finally get sick and tired of wishing and you are finally ready to act.

If you want to get out of debt or to improve your financial situation, you will need motivation.  If you want to lose weight or to get in better physical shape, you will need motivation.

Free yourself, like a gazelle from the hand of the hunter, like a bird from the snare of the fowler. (Proverbs 6:5 NIV)

2.  Self-discipline

Self discipline is the ability to do what you know is right.

A person who is financially fit will avoid expenditures that will damage their overall financial situation.  They have an overall sense of their financial direction and they stop spending in areas they know are a burden on their budget.  They forgo wasteful activities and purchases by avoiding them completely or by finding frugal alternatives that fit within their income.

A person who is physically fit will avoid foods that damage their fitness plan.  They have a sense of what eating habits are destructive to their fitness plan.  This might be the time during a day when you eat more than you should, or it might be the type of food that contains little nutritious value.  Those who are self-disciplined have identified those problem areas and avoid them completely or establish a plan for consuming appropriate proportions.

If you want to get out of debt or to improve your financial situation you will need self-discipline.  If you want to lose weight or to get in better physical shape you will need self-discipline.

You are all sons of the light and sons of the day. We do not belong to the night or to the darkness. So then, let us not be like others, who are asleep, but let us be alert and self-controlled. (1 Thessalonians 5:5-6 NIV)

3.  The Ability to Say ‘No’

We are full of cravings.  Those cravings could be for physical “stuff”.  Those cravings could be for food.  A person who is fit in both senses has to learn how to say ‘no’ to those cravings. One who lacks the ability to say ‘no’ purchases whatever they want – regardless of the financial cost.  One who lacks the ability say ‘no’ eats whatever they want – regardless of the nutritional value.

For everything in the world—the cravings of sinful man, the lust of his eyes and the boasting of what he has and does—comes not from the Father but from the world. (1 John 2:16 NIV)

4.  The Ability to Prioritize

Related to the ability to say ‘no’ is the ability to say ‘yes’.  This is commonly called prioritizing.  People who experience financial peace have determined what spending takes priority.  This way they do not spend money they do not have.  Their lives are not just about sacrifice, but they are defined by the ability to yes to the right spending choices (typically as determined by a budget or spending plan).

People who are physically fit also have the ability to say ‘yes’ to the right activities.  They prioritize in both their eating and exercising.  This priority may be seen in passing over a certain food in order to eat something else at a later point.  Rather than sleeping in, they place a priority on exercise.

But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. (Matthew 6:33 NIV)

5.  Allocate Time and Energy

People often get into trouble when they start believing a problem can be solved without any effort or sacrifice.  Those looking to get rich quick often find themselves defrauded.  Those wanting to lose weight without diet or exercise find that they have spent a lot of money on different programs that simply do not work.

The truth is that both financial and physical fitness require time and energy.  Financially, you will need to spend time budgeting, reading, calling, and filling out paper work.  Physically, you will need to spend time exercising and learning about fitness.

If you are not willing to dedicate any time or energy to physical fitness, your plan will fail.  If you are not willing to dedicate any time or energy to financial fitness, your plan will fail.

If a man is lazy, the rafters sag; if his hands are idle, the house leaks. (Ecclesiastes 10:18 NIV)

Why not apply these principles to help improve your physical fitness, financial fitness, or both?

In what other ways are physical fitness and financial fitness similar?  How do you motivate yourself?

This article was written by Craig Ford. Craig is a fulltime missionary in Papua New Guinea who writes Money Help For Christians and Help Me Travel Cheap, a frugal family travel blog. He is the author of Money Wisdom From Proverbs, has a Masters of Divinity degree, and (most importantly) eats homemade pizza with his family every Friday night.

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“Money related issues in marriage can draw a husband and wife closer together.”

Following this phrase a laugh typically ensues.  People think someone is obviously trying to humor them by speaking such ridiculous words.  Money brings about intimacy in marriage?  I want to plead with you to accept this premise – all married couples have the potential to a healthy and intimate financial relationship.

Here are some of the common complaints about money in marriage: “My husband and I are never on the same page with money.” “My wife wants to tithe, but I don’t think we can afford it.” “My husband keeps doing business deals that cost our family a lot of money.” “My wife keeps buying things for our kids even though we cannot afford it.”  Not surprisingly, money fights are one of the leading causes of divorce.  I believe financial tension in relationships can be improved if not alleviated if couples commit themselves to following these ten suggestions on how to improve the financial intimacy in their marriage.

Ten ways to improve your financial intimacy in marriage

1.     Pray for guidance and wisdom:

Few couples invite God into their financial lives.  I think God has some amazing things he can do with our finances if we allow him to enter into the process.  Marriage is always a joint relationship between husband, wife, and God.

In your prayers focus on the following:

Pray that God would allow you to put the marriage above any individual concerns.  Ask God to guide you in how he wants the funds earned, used, and distributed.  Request a double portion of humility so you can be prepared to accept God’s guidance.  Plead with God to give you the necessary strength to release control of your money and give God control.

If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him. (James1:5 NIV)

2.     Be partners

Marriage is an amalgamation of all the pieces of life.  The husband and the wife lose their individual identity and become one.  “I” is dropped from the vocabulary and replaced with “We.” The married couple no longer uses “my”, but “our”.  This includes finances.  Every dollar brought into the home is a dollar that belongs to the home.  Every dollar that goes out the door is a dollar that the household spent.  Erase all notions of individual finances.  Forget about who bought what.  It doesn’t matter who first signed for the loan.  From now on we are in this financial situation together.  We have an equal responsibility and an equal opportunity.

For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh. (Genesis 2:24 NIV)

3.     Define Goals

Goal setting is a form of practical dreaming – and who doesn’t like to dream about what the future could be?  This goal setting is not just about finances, but it is about all things in life.  Where do you want to be?  What do you want to be doing?  What do you want people to say about your life accomplishments?  Goal setting is where a husband and wife look at each other and say, “Where do we want to be in 5 years? In 10 years? In 15 years?”  Husband and wife then look at the financial implications of those goals they have jointly set. If a husband and a wife have separate goals it will be nearly impossible to have financial intimacy in marriage.

Jesus knew their thoughts and said to them, “Every kingdom divided against itself will be ruined, and every city or household divided against itself will not stand. (Matthew12:25 NIV)

4.     Combine it

Since there is a union between husband and wife it is essential that couples combine bank accounts and all other financial items.  It is difficult, but possible, to function financially with separate bank accounts.  However, what do you seek for in your marriage?  To ‘function’ or to thrive?  I do not believe a marriage can thrive until there is intimacy on all levels.  This involves combining all financial resources.

It doesn’t matter who earns it. Some couples think that the one who earns the money spends the money or dictates how it ought to be spent.  Instead, you should respect your unique contributions to the home.  Our family has made the decision that my wife will stay home and raise our children.  She is well educated and easily marketable in the professional world, but we made a choice, and we each make a contribution to the decisions we made.

The wife’s body does not belong to her alone but also to her husband. In the same way, the husband’s body does not belong to him alone but also to his wife. (1 Corinthians 7:4 NIV) *

* While this passage speaks of the physical relationship between husband and wife the principle of joint ownership applies.  What previously belonged to the wife/husband (his and her body) is now shared with the spouse as he is now a joint-owner of his/her body.

5.     Distribute Responsibilities:

Money management takes time, energy, knowledge, and wisdom.  One of the common complaints about the modern family is the burden of so many responsibilities and commitments.  This makes its way into the home as couples are forced to decide who will take care of the different tasks related to personal finances.

Here is what I suggest:

1. Take out a blank piece of paper (or open a Word document on your computer) and list all of the the jobs related to personal finances.  This list might include things like balancing the check book, transferring funds, paying bills, researching retirement options, making investment decisions …
2. Make a copy of that list.  Both spouses should write on of the following phrases by each tasks:    (a) I enjoy doing that, (b) I am willing to do that, (c) Blahh. Please don’t make me do that.
3. Compare your lists.  Assign responsibilities first according to the task you each enjoy.  Next, assign responsibilities by rotating every other task in the “willing to do that” list.  Then finally, if both of you are “blahh” for the same task, consider (a) outsourcing it if possible, (b) splitting the responsibility50/50 , or (c) assigning the task to one partner and the other will assume another household responsibility that you both rate as ‘blahh’.

Proverbs 31:10-31 outlines the responsibilities assumed by the wife of noble character.

6.     Budget Jointly and Meet Regularly:

When you have defined your goals you now have a broad or general direction that you would like to follow in your lives.  In addition, you have figured out the financial implications of those goals.  Now your job is to apply those long term goals to the short term – this month’s budget.  If you have first agreed on your long term goals your dollars should more easily fall into a natural pattern for short term usage.  The budget represents the small goals you meet along the way to achieving your ultimate goals.

Once the budget is set it is important that you track your progress.  The best way is to meet together regularly.  Imagine if Junior got sick and I bought a bunch of medication.  My spouse needs to know that happened because we may need to adjust another budget item to make the budget work.

Here is what my wife and I do. Every Monday night is budget night.  After the kids go to bed we sit down at the dinning room table together.  We take all the receipts we collected from the previous week.  She reads them and I type them into our budget program.  One of us could do the job, but as she reads and I type, we are both aware of all the week’s expenditures.  We then take a quick look over the budget to be sure the dollars we allocated to each category still seems sufficient.  If we have overspent on a category we take the money from somewhere else in the budget.  The meeting shouldn’t take any more than 15 – 20 min per week.

However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband. (Ephesians 5:33 NIV)

7.     Work at Removing Financial pressure:

Too many money discussions in marriage happen in high-stress situations.  Chuck Bentley at Crown Financial Ministries frequently talks about creating financial margin.  Where there is margin, stress is removed from the situation.  Imagine this scenario: you are on your way to work on a day that every second counts because you didn’t leave a spare moment anywhere on your agenda.  Then you end up getting stuck in traffic.  Every moment is torturous because you have no margin, no space to delay.  I guarantee that if you made that same drive on a Saturday morning visit to see friends you would not be nearly as stressed.  You need to take away the pressure that every financial decision could break you. This must be done by paying off debt and saving for emergencies.  Once you have taken care of those financial pressures you will find that all your financial discussions are suddenly so much easier because there is now space to breathe and even room for error.

The rich rule over the poor, and the borrower is servant to the lender. (Proverbs 22:7 NIV)

8.     Agree on Some Guiding Principles:

You should only need to make some decisions in your marriage once.  Unfortunately, many couples have not put those boundaries in place so when it comes to making financial decisions they are forced to keep re-addressing the same issues.

Here are some examples of guidelines you might have: We will give a least 10% of our income to our local church or other charities.  We will save 15% of every paycheck towards retirement.  We will buy things with cash and will not borrow.  We will always make a car payment to ourselves.  We always put down at least 25% when buying a home.  The list could continue.  The point is when you set your goals some decisions only need to be made once and then you budget according to these guidelines.

Commit to the Lord whatever you do, and your plans will succeed. (Proverbs 16:3 NIV)

9.     Seek outside help:

Sometimes a third party can be an invaluable resource.  Couples who find themselves at an impasse often just need someone to help them hear what the other spouse is saying. When communication in marriage has failed, find a church counselor or minister who can guide you back on track.  This does not need to be a costly endeavor as many churches have resources available to offer you assistance free of charge.

Perhaps you need a different type of outside help.  Ask a friend or parent to watch the kids for an evening or day so you and your spouse can discuss these issues without the children distracting you.

Plans fail for lack of counsel, but with many advisers they succeed. (Proverbs 15:22 NIV)

10.     Put the needs of your spouse above your own.

Often our financial discussions are a sign of our immaturity and our carnal self.  We hunger and lust for things.  We desire those things even above the welfare of our marriage.  Give up the insignificant things of life so that you can gain the greater reward of a unified marriage.

Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others. (Philippians 2:4 NIV)

Which of these have been most helpful in your relationship?  Is there something I neglected to mention that you think would be a valuable suggestion for couples?

This article was written by Craig Ford. Craig is a fulltime missionary in Papua New Guinea who writes Money Help For Christians and Help Me Travel Cheap, a frugal family travel blog. He is the author of Money Wisdom From Proverbs, has a Masters of Divinity degree, and (most importantly) eats homemade pizza with his family every Friday night.

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