Comments on: Finances and Personal Responsibility: Who Is To Blame For Your Money Problems?

By: Credit Card Reward Offers Can Change Any Time

Credit Card Reward Offers Can Change Any Time — Fri, 01 May 2009 11:01:22 +0000

[...] a way to benefit from doing so (e.g. reward points, credit history). But even when you’re a financially responsible person, there are still some things about credit cards that [...]

By: Carnival of Personal Finance #168 | Growing Money

Carnival of Personal Finance #168 | Growing Money — Wed, 31 Dec 2008 05:52:48 +0000

[...] Who is to Blame for Your Money Problems? [...]

By: Until Debt Do US Part

Until Debt Do US Part — Wed, 24 Sep 2008 16:27:24 +0000

The hardest part for someone with a victim mentality is making the realization that they create their own world, that they are responsible for what happens to them - not anyone or anything else. How do you make someone realize this? That is a tough question. I suppose one way to do it is to ask them to look at the cause and effect principle at work in their lives. Take an event that happened in their lives and get them to work it backwards to see what the cause of the event was. Its not easy. Until Debt Do US Parts last blog post..Why die rich? Frugal Fascism

By: Monroe on a Budget » Money blog carnival roundup

Monroe on a Budget » Money blog carnival roundup — Fri, 05 Sep 2008 02:35:06 +0000

[...] Money Matters presents Finances and personal responsibility: “People are buying into the lie that there is always someone else to blame (and someone else [...]

By: Carnival of Personal Finance #168 : Carnival of Personal Finance

Carnival of Personal Finance #168 : Carnival of Personal Finance — Mon, 01 Sep 2008 14:34:54 +0000

[...] Who is to Blame for Your Money Problems? [...]

By: Carnival of Personal Finance #168 - Fire Up the Grill, It’s Labor Day | One Caveman's Financial Journey

Mon, 01 Sep 2008 12:32:37 +0000

[...] Money Matters asks the loaded question, “Who is to blame for your money problems?” While it’s easy to say that all your problems are caused by external issues, that’s [...]

By: Festive Link Love Carnivality #22 | Free From Broke

Festive Link Love Carnivality #22 | Free From Broke — Sun, 31 Aug 2008 12:16:55 +0000

[...] Finances And Personal Responsibility: Who Is To Blame For Your Money Problems? at Bible Money Matters. Some people cry foul way too often when really the fault is theirs. My opinion at least. [...]

By: HD Car Stereo for under $50?

HD Car Stereo for under $50? — Sat, 30 Aug 2008 13:21:05 +0000

[...] Are you responsible for your financial failings? [...]

By: Carnival and Link Love | Momma's Blog

Carnival and Link Love | Momma's Blog — Sat, 30 Aug 2008 10:04:03 +0000

[...] Bible Money Matters – Finances and Personal Responsibility: Who is to blame for your money problems? [...]

By: Donna Freedman

Donna Freedman — Fri, 29 Aug 2008 17:44:59 +0000

Attitude IS key. I’ve been working on eliminating negative attitudes that come out when I’m stressed. Although it sounds corny, I’ve been using certain phrases such as “I get to” (instead of “I have to”) and “Wow, this is a challenge” (instead of “I’m never going to be able to do this”).
My attitude DOES change and things DO seem a little easier when I say, out loud, “Okay, it’s going to be a real challenge to read this chapter of Nietzsche, and then I get to write a response paper.”
(I’m in college at age 50 and yeah, it IS a real challenge!)
Another one that’s working for me happens when I’m compltely overwhelmed by work and studies and other responsibilities. In the past I would sometimes say, “I can’t do this.” One day I realized, “Wait a minute — you ARE doing this!” And I was. So when I feel really tired or scared, I say to myself, “I *am* doing this. Just keep doing it.”
Prayer helps, too. But even my prayer has changed. Now I don’t say, “Help me, God.” I say, “God, please help me to help myself.” Lately I’ve modified that further: “God, please help me to help myself AND OTHERS.” When I get too bound up in my own little woes, it’s good to do something for someone else, whether that’s physically helping my daughter (who has health problems) or collecting items for the food bank or young adult shelter. It’s a reminder that all in all, I am pretty darned fortunate — and that I’m only a victim if I allow myself to be one.
That said, I’d like to remind everybody that victimhood, and the poverty that usually accompanies/encourages it, are very complex issues. There are a lot of reasons that people get mired in the I-can’ts. Rather than condemn and dismiss them as lazy, incompetent or selfish, try to remember that people need help to learn to live a different way. It’s not as simple as deciding one day to develop a completely different set of life skills all by yourself. Those who say things like “If I succeeded, anyone can” are generally overlooking the advantages (hidden or overt) they have had in their lives.
So help people help themselves, and be patient with them when they mess up. Remember learning to ride a bike? You didn’t just hop on and roll away at top speed. It’s more likely that a parent held the bike steady while you practiced. Maybe you fell off a few times, too. But you learned. So can most people — even those who initially resist leaving the victimhood mentality.
It will take time to un-learn everything they’ve known until now, and yes, some people never WILL leave it because it’s pretty comfortable there in the sense that you know exactly what to expect — specifically, that no one expects much of you.
But to assume that people LIKE being poor is pretty counterintuitive. Who, really, would PREFER living hand-to-mouth?

Donna Freedmans last blog post..Family matters more than finance